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For “Catholic Humor, Wit and Wisdom”

A Little Humor...

There’s a little old Catholic lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady goes out on her front porch and shouts, “Praise the Lord!” And every day, the atheist yells back, “There is no God!” After a while, though, the lady runs into financial difficulties and has trouble buying food. But every morning she goes out on the porch and asks God for help with groceries and then shouts, “Praise the Lord!” One morning when she goes out on her porch, she discovers the groceries she’s prayed for, of course she shouts “Praise the Lord!” Just then, the atheist leaps out from behind a bush and says, “Ha, there’s no God—I bought those groceries for you!” The lady looks at him and smiles. Then she shouts all the louder, “Praise the Lord! Not only did you provide for me, Lord, you also made Satan pay for the groceries!”

At dinner in the rectory one night, the old pastor said to his new young associate, “Yes, it was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. Worked like a charm. Now the front of the church always fills up first.” The young priest beamed at the praise as the old priest continued, “And you said more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock ‘n roll gospel choir. Now we’re packed to the balcony!” “Thank you, Father,” replied the young priest. “I’m pleased that you’re open to the new youthful ideas.” “However,” said the elderly priest, “You did go too far with the drive-thru confessional.”“But, Father,” protested the young priest, “my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled!” “I know, my son,” replied the elderly priest, “but that flashing neon sign, ‘Toot ‘n Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof!”