—A priest, a minister and a rabbi are discussing when life begins. The priests says, “It begins at conception”. The minister says, “Life begins at 24 weeks gestation”. The rabbi says, “You are both wrong, Life begins when the kids move out of the house and the dog dies.”
Jesus Vs. Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God [the Father] was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”
So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. The wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some geneology reports. They made cards. They did every known job.
But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?”
God shrugged and said, “Jesus saves.”
Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic. -Alan K. Simpson.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. – James 4: 10.